Chicago Slushies

"Be the..." Pink elephant? The hallucination alcoholics see? Get a proof reader, Clear Channel. 

Two feet in diameter. 5 inches deep. Frozen, filthy slush. 

Mostly full bucket of chicken in a snow drift. 

Chicago Marriott in Miracle Mile. 

Ya picked the exact wrong year to start up, Divvy. T'was a noble effort. 

2014- still frozen

Just the thing to keep you warm. 

Chase Bank is moving. 

Sweet Baby Rays is moving. 

O'Malleys closed for three months. 

Salt n Pepper polar vor vexed. 

Goose Island: too cold for beer. 

It's been cold. 

Polar Bore Text

This was the entirety of a Saturday USA Today. There was nothing else- just cruise info.

Polar Vortex 1: Cold Ass Honkies

Kids, don't drink and Polar Vortex.

Ghost of Christmas Past

(Jeff Goldblum Voice)Uh, you do know you're in WRIGLEYVILLE, right?

More Ghosts of Christmas Past

This is where we are now, Chicago. This has to be posted.

Polar Vortex 2: Electric Ig-a-loo

TBOX- Love Hurts - 2013

It's that most wonderful time of year, TBOX! I'm sure it's great fun for the participants and the charities that some of the money goes toward is very nice, but for the residents and "normal" people of Clark Street it's a nightmare. Imagine 24,000 people (that was was estimated to be in attendance today) going to the bars contained on three/four blocks. Their sole purpose: to drink. And the drinking begins at EIGHT IN THE MORNING. There's screaming, vomiting, falling, fighting and then it happens again in 12 months. Here are some pics (click to enlarge) from this year's revelries:

This staggering "Tigger" kept weaving in and out of traffic as he attempted to hail a cab.

This gal kept hail non-existence cabs. When this car stopped at the red light she kept trying to get in to no avail. Eventually, she began to shout, "You have to unlock the door! Let me in!"

CPD embiggened the sidewalks with clever use of metal barricades. This was on both sides of the Clark street, from Sheffield to Addison!

DIMO's Pizza was a madhouse! Aaaaaa Maaadhousssse!!

Backpack friend comforts vomiting elf.

Go home, S&P Snowman. You're drunk. Also, that's a guy in a gorilla suit and a Christmas vest yelling into his phone.

The "best" vomit I saw. The other vomits were mingled into the snow and slush. 

The party began around 8am. Things started to calm down around 7pm. 

Hope you had fun, Susie! See you next year!

DecemBrrr!

These are NOT Bonsai trees! They're just tiny pine tree twigs! 

Italian propaganda. 

From the archives. 

A Christmas message. 

Pre-summer

They're using a small crane to lift up the front wheel of the larger crane (it fell through some wood planks). It didnt work.




The band will in no way regret this poster later.




"Time machines" are hot property for bits, y'all.




I feel safer already.

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Pre-summer days

The villagers at the inn said to stay off Clark Street.




According to the sign you can still order delivery from Chens. But. Where. Is. Chens!?




What exactly are you protesting? Godlessness? Public drinking? Night baseball?




You had one fucking job, Frank.

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