Tuesday, May 29, 2007

May 28, 2007

Subject: Clark Street. Patient seems quiet, serene at night.

Patient exhibits strange spotting. Stains are not oil or wet, but will mysteriously last for several days. Perplexing.

Patient has tattooed a new bike lane even though it had the same tattoo several years ago and it failed miserably.

Patient exhibits poor judgement. One night stands were obviously planned as a "stayover" kit was found on a corner. (Obviously the male animus packed this bag as no woman under 70 would use a comb like that.)

Friends, family, and even the subject has ignored all warning signs.

Violent behavior is frequent now and will only increase (if past years have shown us anything) as the days get hotter and drunkier. The photo directly above and below was a particularly distressing incident in that the presence of police did little to affect the violent behavior as did several tiny girlfriends begging their male counterparts to "just let it go!"

Patient still remains whimsical at times.

Patient still demonstrates a strong appetite and seems to be proud of its epicurean history no matter how carny.

Patient is now resting comfortably.

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

May 21st - triptych

A great used Bookstore on Clark with a very personal note.

And our first amateur taste test is done! Smirnoff Ice = Crazy Delicious! Mikes Hard Lemonade, not so much.

Sadly, not the first spontaneous aeroponic flower.

Monday, May 14, 2007

May 14 - over the past 4 days

In a really bad movie, this would be Whoopi Goldberg's characters new car.

While looking for things to photograph I found a dollar. Look Ma! I'm making money from my blog!

Some poor bartending student lost their study aids. Or maybe they graduated and threw the cards in the air in celebration!

Abandoned almost poem.

Someone had a heart attack.

This was once a car wash, an actual business. Now, it's an empty building used solely for housing cars on the weekends and Cubs days.

Two trolleys full of college kids show up to go into the Irish Oak at 3:30pm on Friday.

A fight breaks out between rival packs of Striped Shirts. No joke, here are some quotes from said scuffle: "Back on up!" "You crazy? We deep! We got you outgunned!" "Let's go then, motherfuckers!"

Actually, THREE trolleys full of college students arrive to visit the Irish Oak. I know for sure it's to experience true gaelic cuisine and brew.

Friday, May 11, 2007


I've been eavesdropping and then writing down (in my trusty phone) random conversations and quotes for a while now. Here are some of the "high" lights:

Excited Girl #1: Welcome to Chicago! Do you love it?
Not So Excited Girl: I love it! I've been here for a year.

Random Guy to His Buddies: I don't even rub it anymore, I just slap it.

Bar Hawker: Hey, guys! Cmon in! 3dollar Buds and our waitresses are hot!
Guy in a Pack of Guys: What about the girls?
Bar Hawker (after looking over his shoulder into the bar): There's some tail in there!

"Insert mindless yuppie here" - chalk with arrow pointing to Subway door.

Drunken, Yelly Guy on His Phone: Are you at HiTops?! Are you at HiTops?! I AM hitops!!!!

In the Salt + Pepper Diner:
Young Girl: ...but you've been buying dinner all week.
Young Man: I know, I like you.
Young Girl: (whisper) I know...

Friend (walking behind a couple): You're soooo sweet... holding hands!
Guy: I'm holding her up.

Be careful, Clark Streeters... that guy behind you may not be text-messaging and walking. They might be transcribing.

May 11th - Courtney!

Hooray! Our first reader submission! This card attached to a pole was sent from Courtney's cameraphone from near Clark and Roscoe. Thanks, Courtney!If you have a story or pic you'd like to see up here, send it in!

Sunday, May 6, 2007

May 6th, 2007

Late at night Clark Street is sometimes quite lovely. Here, an El train zooms over Clark underneath a full moon.

Weird sign stolen from somewhere and deposited in the lobby of a japanese restaurant.

Random, stranded bag of trashy romance novels at Clark & Diversey.

Street Panties!
(BTW, these are not lost new panties. These are not someone's lost laundry. These are someone's panties.)

Jagmobile Deluxe.

Nigh-full Solo cup on an Onion box on the street.

Someone does not like getting ticketed.

Vomit #1.

Vomit #2.


Clark Street is deflowered.

People waiting in line to get into "Moe's Cantina" (Home of the Flamin' Moe?) at 1:15am. They will be kicked out at 1:45am. I don't get it.

Wednesday, May 2, 2007

May 1st

This storefront is closed up! But when will we meet?

"I love baseball. You get to hug perfect strangers." and it's a tequila ad with some guy shouting and hugging some girls he doesnt know. Welcome to Clark Street.

Oh. I guess that's when we're meeting.

I like this sign.