Busted!

So, I had fully planned to update with some hilarious and snarky pics/comments on the Clark Street cuckooness, but when I got home I found my 70 year old neighbor on the phone with 911. Someone had busted a window in the hallway of our apartment building. My neighbor, upon hearing the loud noise, went into the hallway to see a man sticking his head in.

Neighbor: Who are you?

Intruder: I'm John.

Neighbor: Get the fuck out of here!

so he did.


The cops came and a nice Latino officer came to our door. My neighbor is a 70 year old cranky white man. The conversation went like this:

Officer: Can you describe him?

Neighbor: I only saw his head.

Officer: Well, was he white? Black?

Neighbor: White.

Officer: Really? Huh.

Neighbor: Well, lighter than you, but darker than me.

Officer: Latino?

Neighbor: No. He didn't have an accent.

The officer left to search the area.

10 minutes later, an additional squad car arrived with a suspect in the back.

This big dummy, drunk off his ass, was going to several windows (third floors, ground floors and in between) and strongly knocking on them. He was dressed in jeans and a sleeveless shirt. He said that he was just trying to find his way home. There were several contradictions however- he had no bag (a burglar needs tools and/or something to take away swag with) BUT, he also had no ID.

Anyhow. Nothing taken. Glass all over the floor that I dont' have to clean. BUT, now I'm super paranoid.. I have a deck and lots of windows. I have a cheap ass lock on an even cheaper door. Now it all has to be changed.

There'll be an update later this week. I'm going to sleep. It's 2:30am.